Tuesday, September 10, 2013

"It's not about the money, money, money.."

Oh, wait, maybe it is...

For your listening pleasure. Did you know this was filmed at LSU? FSIL/BM C is in one shot as an extra!

Because we've gotten to know each other pretty well here, we're going to discuss my least favorite topic of conversation: money. I love dealing with my own money - charting my spending, looking at savings and what I should be aiming for (or I just really love making spreadsheets) - but I hate discussing money with people.  Still, it is very relevant and we do have Pitch Perfect to jam too, so let's get on with talking about some of my thoughts and approaches for spending money on this wedding.

Weddings, in many ways, do seem to revolve around the cha-ching, cha-ching.  It may seem like a harsh reality, and you'll hear a lot of people complain about the cost of everything, and that it's foolish to spend that much money on a day.  But really, this is probably one day when you're literally asking for and hiring more people than you ever have before.  Of course it's going to be the most expensive day of your life!

I am funding the majority of the wedding costs myself, and I've adopted the view that I don't have to spend money on anything that I don't want to (aside from the marriage license).  I'm choosing to spend my money on this day, and that helps me keep things in perspective.

The reality is that we are spending above what the average wedding cost for our area is (checked it out at www.costofwedding.com), which was a little unsettling.  But then I remembered we are inviting over 200 guests.  We are having a full open bar and a live band.  We chose Saturday night and we are getting married downtown.  None of these things are on the "ways to save money on your wedding!" lists.

And there's a lot of negativity around spending money on your wedding day.  You hear a lot of people say how there are so many other things to do with the money: a down payment on a house, an awesome vacation,  a new car, paying off debt.  And while they can be true, these rub me the wrong way because they aren't a blanket statement.
For instance, I bought a house last year and it's fully furnished, we don't have enough vacation time to have an outrageous vacation, we're both fine with our cars, and I don't have any debt from college.

You get my point.  Everyone's situation is different.

I know that I am very, very fortunate and blessed to have a great job right out of school with no debt. I had a very good scholarship, and I lived at home with my parents for a year of full-time working in order to save up and buy my house.

Even though I am confident in my reasoning, I do still feel some pangs of guilt for so selfishly spending money on our wedding when there are more responsible ways to use or save it.  But I am at the best point in my life right now to be able to fund this myself and because this is what I want for us and our guests.

Our guests are one of the big reasons I am okay with spending this much.  I am the first of my friends and family to be married and we're still pretty early in the group of Spinx's family and friends.  So weddings are still new for us all, and I wanted to be able to put on the full experience for everyone.  Many of my friends also live out of state - some have never been to New Orleans - and I want to make it a completely awesome, totally kickass party for them.

I also subscribe the the "We'll only do this once!" philosophy; I know I want to look back on this with no regrets.

My final stance on it: If you want it and you can feasibly make it happen, then DO NOT HAVE GUILT.

People always seem to be very opinionated about how others spend/save their money, but it's a highly personal matter and shouldn't really be up for judgement.  There will always be those who say you are spending too much/not spending enough.  Those people need not be invited to the wedding (just kidding...maybe).

As far as how I'm going about saving, I set up a separate checking account for wedding savings so that it's not available to spend readily.  I saved the entire yearly bonus that I received this spring, and I will save the one next year just before the wedding. I'm transferring an amount from each paycheck into that account,  so it grows a little over time.
I'm also significantly cutting back on my unnecessary expenses and shopping trips.  It's actually kind of fun to try and challenge myself to stick to my budgets in each category!  Here's to hoping that this budgeting that I have enforced on myself will last somewhat after the wedding passes.

I'm also trying to buy as much as I can right now - decor, bridesmaids gifts, accessories - so that it won't all hit me at once next year.  I'm putting what I can on credit cards to earn points (but of course paying them off on time!) and to keep me conscious of what I'm spending.  Something about seeing a 50% deposit for the limos on my credit card statement really does make me stop and think about if I need to buy a new pair of shoes!
I use www.mint.com to keep track of my spending and budgets, and I'll write later about some more details on that and how I use it.  For now, just know that I highly recommend Mint.com and their app!

In general, I am planning to pay for everything except the reception band and my dress (both my Nanny's gifts), most of the food and drink (my parents), and the rehearsal dinner and welcome party (Sphinx's parents).  I look like I should be on the right track for that, if I keep up my good behavior on saving and spending!

Did you have any wedding guilt with spending?  How are you saving for wedding expenses? 

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